This past two years has been an interesting cultural experiment.  You see, I’m a girl from the North.  North as in New York.  New York as in Queens.  N-O-R-T-H.

And I live in the South – and I’m reminded of it every day. E-V-E-R-Y day.

When I have to slow down and be a better small talker.  (They are much less direct here in the South. Unless, of course, they really don’t like Northerners. Then, they can be direct is a way that is jarring!)

When I have to ask many questions about the menu at a restaurant. (They don’t have grits in the North.)

A restaurant menu in N. Carolina a good example of when Southern hospitality borders on not so hospitable. (I'm not misplaced - I live here!)

When I go to the voting booth to vote on an amendment that would change the state’s constitution to ensure that marriage is only permitted between a man and a woman. (That would NEVER be on a ballot in the North. N-E-V-E-R.)

When I had to ask what the difference is between y’all and all y’all.  (Language – it is tricky! For example:

“Are y’all going to the movies?” means that you are asking if movies are in the plans of the group. The person asking is not focusing on whether the whole group, or just some of them, are going.

“Are all y’all going to the movies?” In this case, the person asking specifically wants to know whether the whole group is going.)

When I see a Baptist church. (MANY!)

When I see signs that support and embrace tobacco production.  (When I lived in New York City  in the 1990s I recall ads in the subways that showed images of African Americans smoking and a tag line that said something like “First they made us pick it, now they make us smoke it.”)

When I have to ask for UNsweetened tea. (We offer sugar in the North.)

When I pass through NASCAR country. (We don’t race cars up North, unless you’re into street drag racing, which isn’t quite legal!)

Despite that horrific (in my not so humble opinion) amendment vote, there is much to love about the South.

Like the fresh air.

And the farmer’s markets.

And the hospitality, which is more often than not sincere.

And the small cities with buckets full of charm.

And the sense of community.

And the strong international education scene.

Will I stay in the South for long?  Only time will tell. But for now, I will continue to practice the fine art of crossing cultures.  As Tony has said to me before, without judgment intended, “living here sometimes feels like living on another planet.”

It sure does y’all.

And when I pause to think about his reflection, I gently smile and nod.  I understand.

Katy (left) with Morocco Exchange Students, Couscous Association, Amzmiz, Morocco, 2010

Today’s guest post is by Katy Rosenbaum.  Katy holds the rank of “almost a Melibee intern” – which is a story for another blog post! Our recent conversation sparked the following reflection. When she shared it with me, I simply had no choice but to share it with Melibee readers.  You’ll understand why when you find yourself nodding your head and thinking that you too need to share this piece. 

As a program leader for Morocco Exchange, I worked extensively with university students who were studying abroad in Spain and came to Morocco on a four to five day cultural immersion program. The days were long and carefully programmed, and the experience—though short—was quite intense.

On the last night in Morocco, we would always have an integration or reflection session where students shared and began processing the experience. Inevitably, the topic of re-entry came up often.

“It’s been such an amazing experience! I don’t know how to cope with going back to Spain and the normalcy of classes there.”

“This has been so powerful that I don’t know how I can explain it to people when I go back to the States. They won’t GET it.”

“I’m worried that I’ll forget things when I go home and don’t know how to deal when things go back to normal.”

My responses became almost habitual. I’d encourage them to use each other as resources to keep processing their experiences in Morocco. I’d nearly beg them to keep in touch with the Moroccan students or homestay families that made such an impression on them.  I’d give them handouts with ideas about other opportunities like volunteering abroad, joining the Peace Corps, or even traveling with Hospitality Club or Servas. We’d discuss that re-entry can be harder than the culture shock process when they first came to Spain or Morocco, and I’d do my best to encourage them to use their resources and make a plan.

But I knew that that probably wasn’t enough. There are many orientations and resources for how to cope with the stressful parts of going abroad, but it can be much harder to support students and prepare them for re-entry.

When I reflect back my own powerful and transformative experiences abroad, it becomes clear that I developed a variety of positive and negative coping mechanisms for re-entry.

My first meaningful experience abroad was a three-week program with People to People Student Ambassadors to Western Europe. I was 16, and had just finished tenth grade. The whirlwind experience was mind blowing. I had my first homestay with an amazingly generous family in the small village of Samoens, France; a few of us got lost in Paris during the Bastille Day celebration on the Seine, my friends and I tried unsuccessfully to hand wash laundry in a Barcelona hotel with disastrous results, I proudly managed to have a few limited conversations in a language other than English, and I felt like each day was more incredible and amazing then the day before.

1999: Young Katy and friends washing clothes in their Barcelona hotel tub.

The crash coming home was inevitable, and it was rough.  To combat my longing to be back in such an invigorating atmosphere, I made a scrapbook: I typed up the journal I had kept every day, printed all my photographs, copied maps, and put everything from museum and train tickets to used candy wrappers and receipts in two large books. I probably spent several hours a day for over a month pouring over it all, trying to capture the moments, the tastes, the experiences, and the exhilaration.  I played the same four CDs I had bought in Spain and France non-stop for over six months, and memorized an entire French musical… even though I had never studied French!

I also threw myself into learning French over the next year, since the homestay family and the kind people in Paris had burst every stereotype about the French I had ever heard. Their hospitality and understanding of my limited vocabulary made quite an impression, and I delved in, devouring French movies, French music, and anything I could get my hands on involving French culture.

My first coping mechanism as a teenager was to funnel my energy into creating a way to preserve the memories that were so important, and to immerse myself in the language and culture as a way to connect back to those few amazing weeks.

A few years later, I studied in China for a semester during my junior year of college. Towards the end of the semester, I began to feel anxious just thinking about re-entry. I knew it would be hard.

About two weeks before flying back to the States, I called my mom.

“Mom?”

“Yes, dear?”

“Well… I decided to do something. And you’re going to think I’m crazy, but, trust me. I need to do it.”

Silence. “Um… okay.”

“The day after my flight lands… I’m going on a road trip to follow my favorite band for four days. Alone.”

Silence.

“You’re… taking a road trip… ALONE… to follow a band? The DAY after you come back from a SEMESTER in CHINA??!”

“Yeah! It’s going to be great!”

It was great.

Rather than focus on China, I pushed myself to the limit with something that I enjoyed and loved, but was out of my comfort zone. I was able to take the experience of constantly challenging my norms and what made me comfortable in China, and bring it to the States. I suppose to some people, road-tripping to follow a band might not be all that odd, but for me, it was quite out of character and that made it exhilarating.

And that exhilaration made coming home a little easier.

Katy serving as a health education volunteer in the Peace Corps, Morocco, 2009

Today, I am still stuck somewhere in the re-entry phase after living abroad. I returned to my hometown after four years in Morocco last July, and though it’s been almost a year, I still haven’t quite processed everything. Because of life circumstances, I’ve had to hit the ground running—applying for jobs, starting a new job, living in my parents’ basement, moving to an apartment, marriage, adjusting to married life, adjusting to cross-cultural married life, buying two cars, dealing with my husband’s immigration journey, supporting my husband through culture shock process, and creating a social network—all in the period of eight months! Needless to say, I haven’t had the time to really understand how being back in the States is effecting me.

Katy introducing her husband to the joys of American culture in Raleigh, N. Carolina.

I forget about the need to process until it hits me when I least expect it. I forget not to throw in an Arabic word that doesn’t have an exact equivalent in English. I try to talk about events or moments that have so much unfamiliar context that I can’t really tell the stories effectively.  I forget that not everyone wants to hear any more than the 30-second elevator spiel about Morocco. I struggle to not become preachy when I see things here that use excessive resources.

But the hardest part of processing are the struggles I have with defining and understanding my own identity: when I don’t feel comfortable with situations, attitudes, or philosophies that were ingrained in me since I was a child, but can’t outright reject them either because they are learned, ingrained, and a part of my history.

And that’s when it hits me. Re-entry is a process, but also a revealing journey.

Sometimes the journey is fast and relatively easy, and some of the typical coping mechanisms are enough. For many people, doing presentations to groups of interested people, keeping in touch with new friends abroad, talking with students who were on the same program and are processing at the same time, journaling, writing articles or blogs, or using the energy to volunteer, create, or learn things related to the experience are all important and helpful ways of integrating back into American life.

But when these mechanisms didn’t make it any easier to work through re-entry, I found it helpful to embrace the challenges of the journey as a true learning experience about myself.

I’ve learned to be grateful for the awkward and uncomfortable moments in my home country.  By questioning and examining these moments and struggles, I’m able to learn more about who I am and what I believe and can break away from who I have been socially conditioned to be.

And that’s what I want in my re-entry process. I don’t want to distract myself, or to try to recreate the highs or intensities of being abroad.  If going abroad is about an intense experience or a prolonged high, I may as well save time and money and find an adrenaline rush in the States.

I want to struggle with what it means to be an American who has lived outside American norms and doesn’t quite feel comfortable in either place. I want to discover what I believe when freed from a few things that my home society has conditioned me to believe.

When I see my re-entry in that light, the journey can take as long as it needs to. I can be comfortable knowing that for every awkward moment I have and every time I feel conflicted, I will learn about myself and have a small glimpse of who I am at my core.

About the Author: Kathryn (Katy) Rosenbaum’s love of exploring cultures and language stemmed from an early age when she kept a “foreign treasures” drawer under her bed with maps, stamps, coins, and even candy wrappers in foreign languages. This interest in knowing “The Other” continued as an adult, and after working with immigrants and refugees in Atlanta at a women’s health clinic, Kathryn joined Peace Corps Morocco as a health education volunteer. She stayed in-country with Morocco Exchange, where she developed, managed, and led short-term cultural immersion programs for U.S. university students. Kathryn recently moved back to Raleigh, North Carolina and is currently working on a grant project out of N.C. State that partners with local communities to improve access to healthy, affordable foods and places to be active. She is constantly seeking opportunities to encourage students and young adults to experience studying, volunteering, or working abroad.

TEDx at Wake Forest University (do you see the MeliBEEs!)

What does tissue regeneration have to do with study abroad?

Stumped? Let me back up a minute to explain why I pose this question.

I recently attended a TEDx event  at Wake Forest University.  Chris Bashinelli, a Melibee speaker was serving as the emcee and presenting also, so I was delighted to have the opportunity to hear him and other inspiring speakers.

The morning schedule was dedicated to innovation in science.  As science is not my passion, I thought I’d simply manage through the morning until the “good stuff” started in the afternoon.

Except, somehow, the science kept triggering thoughts and connections about study abroad.

The morning began with Dr. Anthony Atala’s presentation on tissue regeneration.  He described how using the body’s own cells, tissues can be regenerated to bridge the gap as needed.

Bride the Gap? How odd that he used those words, as they are the name of Chris Bashinelli’s organization that fosters intercultural dialogue by highlighting stories of everyday life from the around the world on film.

Next up was Dr. Paul Pauca, a brilliant man who created a smartphone app to help his son who was unable to communicate his needs because of a rare genetic disorder.  The tool, called “Verbal Victor” after his young boy, allows Victor to tap on an image to hear a statement that expresses his need at that moment.  Verbal Victor was designed to help Dr. Pauca’s son – but I kept thinking, couldn’t this tool easily be used for those of us learning another language too?  It is customizable, so you  or your language teacher can load your own voice and statements as needed.

Dennis Quaintance and Melibee speaker Chris Bashinelli

Dr. Charles Pell took the stage to share a new medical device that is being designed for heart surgery.  He explained that surgeons are still using a medical device that is seventy five years old to help open up the chest cavity to access the heart. Apparently, no one ever redesigned it because it works, despite causing harm (it works, but it will break your ribs).  It made me wonder, with all of the growth and urgent pace of study abroad, are we ignoring the need to update very basic tools that we use to do our jobs in study abroad too? Every day, are we spitting out the same program – again and again – and possibly causing harm in our attempt to  “do good”?  (This will be further elaborated on in a future post.)

Perhaps one of the biggest lessons of the TEDx event, for me, what listening to a very authentic and humble man named Dennis Quaintance. He talked about the power of a process outset vs. outcome mindset.  He cited the example of how he was once working on an environmentally friendly restaurant called the Print Works Bistro in Greensboro, North Carolina (US). During the design process, he kept asking new questions about how it could be more green, beyond what is “normally” done.  Reflecting upon the experience, he described that while he may not have known exactly where the team was going, he did feel strongly that they were on the right path.  All of this, in his case, led to the first LEED certified restaurant in the US!   This once again brought me back to study abroad.  If we ignored resource limitations and simply did what felt exploratory in our program design, where could we go?  How many organizations have really spent time with a dedicated team asking more in depth questions about WHY we are setting up a program and what could we do differently by taking the time to probe deep instead of racing to get the work done?  Would we have programs that result in more meaningful learning and perhaps more creativity, something that is often stifled by overly structured academic environments?

Missy Gluckmann, Melibee's founder with Chris Bashinelli

Chris Bashinelli, a Melibee speaker, is who brought me to this wonderful TEDx event.  His presentation touched on finding the deeper meaning in our lives and never stopping to fulfill the search for what moves us to action. In his case, his desire to learn about the world developed into a fun, educational TV series about the diverse people in our world and led to several speaking engagements at the United Nations.  For me, all of the speakers at TEDx have found what drives them to jump out of bed every day to pursue their passions. Their inspiring work became my classroom for the day.  So next time you think you are going to have to grin and bear it through the science – or whatever discipline may not be your forte – open your heart and allow yourself to be surprised at all that you will learn AND how it unexpectedly can have a very direct impact on the work that YOU do every day.

Chikako and Vanessa, Melibee interns

As many of you know, I’ve been working with a handful of interns this past year.  They have provided outstanding support to Melibee Global and most recently, to MelibeeU.  One of my interns, Katie, just had a baby this past weekend – but not before she managed to send me her outstanding research on a MelibeeU course that is in the development stages. Another core intern, Danielle, is completing her MA this spring, yet still manages to serve as a senior intern despite her other job, a 2nd internship and full-time studies.

They inspire me.

Fast forward: Spring 2012.  While on a NAFSA sponsored collegial conversation about getting into this field, I innocently mentioned that I worked with virtual interns. And that is when the avalanche of queries hit my inbox:

“I’d like to intern…”

“I saw your comment about interns on the transcript today – how can I help out?”

I was overwhelmed, but excited to see such interest. I created a survey and sent it to the prospective interns, explaining that I’d need to choose who to interview by narrowing down the field a bit.  There were just too many of them and I only have “so much time.”

They completed the survey.

The problem was that their answers were uplifting!  TOO uplifting!

I couldn’t find any way to “weed out” ANY of them. Not ONE!  They inspired me with their interests, their international experience, their creativity and passion about how to move our field forward.

Several of the new group are mothers.  We even have two men in our group – the underrepresented gender in our field.

Their enthusiasm is INFECTIOUS!  They are eager to be put to work, to contribute to our field in whatever way they can.

I’m so incredibly inspired by their charisma.

I’m humbled that they trust me to play a mentor role in their lives.  It is core to the internship. Sure, we review what they’ll do for Melibee, but we also talk about what I will do for them.  This internship comes with a promise that they won’t be given “busy work.”  They will be given contacts, introductions, interesting research and a network of support as they pursue their dreams.

That unique brand of magic happened this past weekend in NYC.  Not only was Katie’s baby born this weekend – a new relationship emerged between two Melibee interns – Chikako and Vanessa.  They met for a bite to eat and for some delicious conversation.  And they were thoughtful enough to share the moment via a photo with the team to inspire us about their new friendship and time brainstorming together. And with their permission, I share it with you.

Despite our busy days and stressful jobs, know that MUCH is possible in this work that we do.

We can’t do it alone and sometimes, we feel that stopping to take the time to train and mentor someone seeking a new experience in this field is too much work.

I can assure you that it isn’t.  In fact, it is exactly what uplifts you when the calendar is too booked and the ideas are flowing too fast.

And just when you think you are serving as a teacher, the universe reminds you how much your mentees are teaching you.

Humbling indeed. I will be learning so much from this group.  The good news is that you will see the fruits of their labor!  We are so very fortunate.

Thank you Melibee interns!

Here is a “temporary solution” (and for those of you who have a more fully developed re-entry program – these three videos are simply some new resources for you.)  If you have time to do NOTHING else for your returning students, consider sharing these with them.   Even if you just show them prior to serving the standard pizza at your re-entry gathering (or even email them with a welcome back note), it will serve a springboard for conversation and reflection. (And it may inspire you to spend some time this year developing a more fleshed out re-entry program too!)

These videos can also be shared PRIOR to the student departing their host country.  Re-entry should be discussed in country!  Don’t forget to acknowledge it before they return home.

Video #1: Some students who had studied in Korea took the time to share their reflections on re-entry with a group of semester students who were returning to the US.  I appreciate their honesty – and the humor in the final vignette. 

Click here to view the embedded video.

Video #2:  A student talks about what helped her when she returned from study abroad in Australia.

Click here to view the embedded video.

Video #3: A short animation using 2 characters chatting over tea

Click here to view the embedded video.

Steve is a retired FBI agent and someone who does not hold back when he believes in something or someone. (Just ask Amanda Knox, the American student who was found to be wrongly accused of murdering her British roommate while studying abroad in Italy.  Steve’s pro bono work on the case proved to be an important source of support for the Knox family.)

He goes on: “TSA has never, (and I invite them to prove me wrong), foiled a terrorist plot or stopped an attack on an airliner. Ever.”

I don’t think the TSA has taken Steve up on that offer yet.  They must still be looking.

We are international educators and students of life.  We travel.  A lot.  Unfortunately, we are subject to ridiculous attempts to out would be terrorists on planes.  How?  By practicing the fine art of fear.  Fear, you know, that other four letter word.  The one that governments use to facilitate the expansion of already massive agencies to look at our shoes, our belts, our change, our underwear and bras – and to remind us that fear is “necessary” in the 21st century.

Frankly, I’m more afraid of the food in the airport lounge killing me than I am of terrorists on airplanes. Perhaps TSA should shift their focus there and explore some of those food vendor contracts?

Steve Moore, retired FBI agent and Melibee Global consultant

Steve continues:

“The entire TSA paradigm is flawed. It requires an impossibility for it to succeed. For the TSA model to work, every single possible means of causing danger to an aircraft or its passengers must be eliminated. This is an impossibility. While passengers are being frisked and digitally strip-searched a few dozen yards away, cooks and dish washers at the local concourse “Chili’s” are using and cleaning butcher knives.”

Knives.  That can get on planes.  (Although having said that, in my humble opinion, too many passengers eating too much Chili’s could take down a plane – ok, well maybe just the seat.)

Steve’s argument continues with this in your face statement:

“Approximately 99% of what the average traveler carries on a plane would be considered contraband in a maximum security prison, due to the fact that it can easily be converted into a weapon. Toothbrushes, Popsicle sticks, pens, pencils, anything with wire (iPod headset), any metal object which can be sharpened, etc., etc. is a potential weapon. Carried to its logical end, TSA policy would have to require passengers to travel naked or handcuffed.”

Naked or handcuffed?  Ewww. Enough said.

Now, if you think Steve is really being theatrical with these statements, let me share this gem with you:

“Former Department of Homeland Security Inspector General Richard Skinner dropped this bomb, ‘The ability of TSA screeners to stop prohibited items from being carried through the sterile areas of the airports fared no better than the performance of screeners prior to September 11, 2001.’”

We stand in line, sometimes for an hour, for no proven increase in safety.  We allow ourselves to be virtually strip searched and patted down.  We can’t take our $4 bottle of water past security.  And women, especially, will relate to this: TSA – you’ve taken countless tweezers from us.  COUNTLESS. Why?  So I won’t pluck the pilot’s brows in flight or practice my unscrewing skills on the bathroom or plane door?

I wonder if the TSA should drop the S…and simply change their names to T&A - after all, with those screening machines they’re assessing the threat of those more of that then any weapons.  (I can just hear it now…”We have a potentially lethal D cup in row 1 and a very risky A approaching in row 5 that could take down at least the seat on a plane.”)

If you’re frustrated by travel these days, you can read Steve’s entire post on he ridiculousness of the TSA at his website, G-MAN case file.  And feel free to check out my previous Melibee rant on the TSA here.

(Note:  Steve Moore is Melibee’s safety consultant.  He is available for consulting engagements as well as presentations/training on study abroad safety and life in the FBI.  You can learn more about him here.)

His presentation at TEDx Wake Forest was incredibly inspiring.  So much so, he is part of the Melibee speaker series!

Please enjoy this clip of Chris’ TEDx presentation:

Click here to view the embedded video.

Danielle Sleeper, Melibee Intern

I am grateful for having a dynamic and dedicated team of virtual interns here at Melibee Global and MelibeeU.  Today you will meet my senior intern, Danielle Sleeper.  She is a gem and you’ll quickly see why! Danielle will be at the Forum on Education Abroad conference if you’d like to learn more about her and/or Melibee.

Melibee:    Danielle, introduce yourself in 3 sentences or less!

DS:  My name is Danielle Sleeper and I am a professional student, now pursuing a Masters in International Communication at American University in Washington, DC. My personal experience studying, working and traveling throughout East Asia changed my way of thinking, and I returned to the U.S. committed to all things related to global education and study abroad. In my spare time, I am an obsessive yogini, cruciverbalist and Jeopardy! enthusiast.

Melibee: What inspired you to reply to the Melibee call for interns?

DS:  At the time, I had been looking for ways to volunteer and meet more people involved with international education. After searching through the Melibee website, I quickly determined that this was an organization I would like to intern for. I suppose I was drawn to it because it is a new organization and I am a sucker for social entrepreneurship. I admired the innovation and the way Melibee was clearly doing things differently—but mostly I liked the idea that I could directly make a difference and not be that intern shuffling files around.  I have not been disappointed.

Melibee: What have you enjoyed learning most from this experience?

DS: Too many things to choose a “most”!

It sounds kind of Sesame Street, but through interning with Melibee I have witnessed what can happen when you put your mind to it. Enterprises do not develop overnight—you need to be relentless, you need to be passionate, and you need to be optimistic. And sure, people can tell you that it isn’t going to be easy all they want, but I would have never truly understood the realities of managing a start-up had it not been for this internship. Truly, it is empowering to see what can be done to bridge social entrepreneurship with my passion– international education.  I am happy to say that I have contributed to a small part of it.

Also, I should mention that it has also been a joy to learn about and explore different career opportunities in the field. As an intern, I have conducted research for the Speaker Series and for workshop resource packets.  Consequently, I have learned a ton about job prospects in the field, networking, conferences, university programs, and global education organizations. I am positive this will only be of benefit to me once I kick my impending job search into high-gear.

Finally, one event that really struck me as a learning experience was meeting with one of the Melibee speaker series professionals.  I had the pleasure of having dinner with Nury Turkel and learned more about China and the situation with Uyghur population out west in three hours than I ever had living in China for over year. The conversation opened my eyes to an extreme social injustice in the world, and I have since been inspired to explore similar issues in my studies at school. Book him for your next keynote event and you will not be disappointed (shameless plug).

Melibee: What are your future plans in international education?

DS: After the completion of my master’s degree this summer,  I hope to secure a job designing, managing, and facilitating exchange programs. Ideally, I will have the opportunity to interact with students and travel. In the long term, I will one day be president of an international education organization.

Melibee: What advice would you give to others who are interested in entering the field?

DS: Intern with Melibee! Haha—but seriously, if don’t at least volunteer with Missy, make sure to connect with her. She has been an incredible mentor and role model to me, and is always willing to lend her wisdom and guidance. One of the informational interviews she set up for me and another intern has also led to a string of other opportunities. And if you don’t connect with Missy, go out there and find a mentor in the field!

Finally, I would also recommend participating in one of the MelibeeU workshops. You will be able to gain skills and knowledge, as well as explore further whether international education is right for you.

______________________________________________________________________________________

You can connect with Danielle via LinkedIn at: http://www.linkedin.com/in/daniellesleeper

Do you want to work with international students coming to the US?

Do you enjoy programming?

Do you have international experience?

Are you interested in visas and government regulations?

Do you want a career that touches on all of these things but have little to no idea how to land a great job?

MelibeeU is hosting a NEW workshop for anyone who is interested in learning about a career in International Student Advising!

Click here for more information!

(Melibee and Small Planet Studio also teamed up for Career Advice for Study Abroad, Intercultural Training and Consulting. You can learn more here!)

Vedder writes through the lens of an economist – as he directs the Center for College Affordability and Productivity.

Ultimately, his two questions boil down to:

1) Are we really serving students or our pocketbooks?

2) Who is watching the ethics and quality of these programs when the money is rolling in?

These are two VALID questions and in my opinion, they are NOT talked about enough in our field.  

Interestingly, he doesn’t mention anything about the danger and cost to nations of colleges (or any organizations) facilitating poorly planned programs that enhance intercultural incompetence. Certainly, there is also an economic cost to those issues.

Read his piece and comment below with your thoughts!